Sarah Hyland is shedding more light on her own experiences with domestic violence.
At Variety’s Power of Women Honors in Los Angeles on Oct. 24, the actress was given the first ever Courage Award for her work in animal welfare and domestic abuse awareness. As she accepted the award, Hyland, 33, gave an emotional and powerful speech.
She was introduced by her Modern Family costar Julie Bowen, who she later called her “TV mom.”
“I didn’t think that this would be as emotional,” Hyland began, before choking up and telling Bowen, “I love you.”
“October is domestic violence awareness month, and while it is not the easiest topic to talk about, it is of the utmost importance that we do,” Hyland said. “I have been open about my experiences as a survivor, and I want to support others in the way that Julie and all of my close ones have done for me.”
Sarah Hyland and Julie Bowen at Variety’s Power of Women Honors.
Michael Kovac/Variety via Getty
“Accepting this award for courage has made me think about what that word means to me. It takes courage to wake up every morning and face the world knowing that people may have no idea what you are going through,” she continued, reflecting on her own experiences. “It is all too easy to feel isolated and misunderstood — no matter how strong you are.”
Hyland got emotional again as she teared up and shared, “There was a time where the only being that I could trust with my true feelings, and felt the safest with, was with my dog, Barkley. He got me through the worst years of my life and I know I wouldn’t have been able to make it out without him.”
She continued to pay tribute to the work that Purina and its animal rights partner RedRover are doing with their Purple Leash Project, before ending her speech thanking her “TV mom,” Bowen, and her “bio mom.”
In Bowen’s introduction, she praised her on-screen daughter and shared a story about watching out for Hyland on set when she was experiencing health issues ahead of her kidney transplant. “She seemed like a young woman who was invisible and I rarely worried about her outside of her health concerns,” Bowen said. “So when I got the call one day to ask if I could help extricate her from an abusive domestic situation, I was stunned.”
She continued, “My tiny dynamo, my little show biz pro, my force of nature superstar was being victimized.”
Bowen explained that she was not “going into the details” because “abusers love attention and this f—ing piece of s— will not get any more of my time.”
Julie Bowen and Sarah Hyland in 2016.
Kevin Mazur/WireImage
“It took real courage for Sarah to ask for help,” Bowen said. “Courage because getting out of her situation puts Sarah at risk at further physical, psychological and emotional abuse. And courage because being a beautiful and successful actress brings a spotlight with it. And a spotlight can highlight a glorious, fearless performance and it’s also a spotlight that can open one up to the scrutiny and criticism with anyone with a keyboard.”
Hyland has rarely spoken out about her experience with domestic abuse. In 2014, she obtained a restraining order against Matt Prokop over claims he verbally and physically abused her during their five-year relationship. PEOPLE obtained the filing at the time, which alleged that Prokop, now 34, had exhibited violent behavior, lobbied multiple threats and attempted to choke her once.
Before the order was granted, Bowen intervened and helped Hyland end the relationship, which allegedly led to Prokop threatening to kill her dog and burn down her house.
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In a story for Variety, Hyland said she is “very much guilty” of the “dissociation pattern” that can result from domestic violence.
“[It stays] in that abused place of your soul, where you think it’s your fault the whole time and you could have done better, you could have gotten out sooner, you could have told people,” she said.
“I don’t know if that part [of] any woman will ever be fully healed from that. It’s something that kind of scars her soul a little bit. It’s more so putting love towards that scar instead of hating it and ignoring it.”
In the interview, she shared insight into what compelled her to open up about it now.
“For thousands of years now, we didn’t talk about it,” she said of enduring domestic violence. “The community hasn’t shared enough, I believe. And I feel that if we talk about it more, more women — and men and just human beings in general in abusive relationships — will feel more comfortable to be able to talk about it with their loved ones instead of letting their abuser isolate them from everyone, which is the first thing that they do, so that you don’t have that community.”
She added that “talking about it” is “really important” to helping those in need.
If you are experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or go to thehotline.org. All calls are toll-free and confidential. The hotline is available 24/7 in more than 170 languages.