On his “For Friends And Family Only” tour this week, Shawn Mendes opened up on stage, saying that since he was very young there’s always been this “thing” about his sexuality that “always felt like such an intrusion on something very personal”. But why does he have to explain himself about his personal life in the first place?
Mendes told his audience that it’s something he has been and is still figuring out, saying: “we live in a society that has a lot to say about that” – which can be intimidating for anyone in the spotlight, especially at a young age when they’re still confused themselves.
@theliyahrich
THE YOU CAN SAY I LIKE GIRLS OR BOYS?? had me gagged. #shawnmendes #shawnmendesvideos #shawnmendesfan #nyc
♬ original sound – LIYAH.
But he isn’t the first person to speak up. An array of celebrities and influencers have opened the conversation about the sheer invasion of privacy that fans seem to demand these days. Throughout her career Billie Eilish’s sexuality has been scrutinised, even when she was still in her teens and trying to keep her private life private. When asked about her accidental “coming out” last year, she responded with “shouldn’t people just be able to exist?”
This scrutiny and judgement of celebrities’ sexualities is also fed into fans’ disappointment when they find out that their favourite queer, or queer-coded, celebrity is in a heterosexual relationship. Take Billie and her ex-boyfriend Jesse Rutherford, for example, or Victoria Monét and Stormzy.
Likewise, TikTok influencer and recent Miu Miu muse Lena Mantler also opened up in an intimate 20-minute video about her personal experience of having millions of people on social media telling her she was gay before she had even had time to figure it out herself.
@lenamantler
bruh
♬ please please please bridge – sar 𝜗𝜚
It feels like the more public and open celebrities feel they can be online, the more the world demands from them. A flood of expectations and needs comes from opening up and being authentic online. But why tf does it matter?
Isn’t it hypocritical to promote acceptance of all sexualities, and then be disappointed when a celebrity comes out as being something their fans didn’t expect? Shouldn’t we just accept celebrities as exactly what they present to us, without constantly questioning them or feeling dissatisfied? At the end of the day, their private lives and relationships are none of our business.
Boundaries between public figures and their fans have blurred thanks to social media platforms like TikTok and the parasocial relationships that they encourage – but that doesn’t give us as fans the right to question, pressure, or judge celebrities on their sexualities, no matter what we think they might be.
Featured image Shawn Mendes©
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