Kristen Stewart REALLY Wants You To Know This

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Kristen Stewart is on a press tour and she really wants you to know that she’s gay. Why do we need to know this? And why is she wearing a mullet?

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Well last week I was blessedly out of the loop and not doing my show in Rolling Stones cover story on the actress Kristen Stewart went viral and in the article Stewart goes on and on about how gay she is she says in fact that she wants to uh do the gayest thing

You’ve ever seen in your life and of course if that’s her goal then she already achieved it with the Twilight films that was her own personal Mount Everest can’t get gayer than that but uh she wasn’t satisfied with that she says that she is very fluid that she deeply

Desires to flip the gender script she wants to quote send a message and that if she could she would quote grow little mustache and a happy trail um so she’s gay you see do you understand that are you impressed yet she’s gay she’s so gay she’s the gayest

Of all the gays she’s the final boss of gayness she’s like the queer Bowser okay this this is this is what she desperately wants us all to know that she is gay just to be clear hey did I mention that Kristen Stewart is gay did

She mention it she did but in case you didn’t hear uh just to reiterate Kristen Stewart is gay very very gay now you might think that her gayus is is now established we can all move on but uh in fact it’s established much more than it ever needed to be

Established you probably were not living your life wondering at all about Kristen Stewart’s sexuality uh it prob it was probably not a mystery that you were contemplating um but anyway now you know she can’t utter five words without announcing that she’s gay she works into every conversation if you asked her for

Directions to the gas station she would say yeah just hang a left up there and then you drive until you realize that I’m gay hey by the way did you hear that I’m gay but if somehow the point was not C crystal clear enough then the photos accompanying the the interview will

Drive it home you probably seen these be by now there’s the one with Stewart in a mullet with her um hand shoved down her jock strap and then there are others in a in a similar vein now of course the jock strap and the hand down

The pants is is is the most immediately nauseating thing about the pictures but the mullet really puts the icing on the ugly cake here somewhere along the line and very recently celebrity women decided that Joe Dirt is a fashion icon they’re trying to capture it seems like the Aesthetics of a

Middle-aged man who lived in a trailer park in 1987 and the results have been as aggressively unappealing as you might expect Grand Canyon University is a private Christian University located in beautiful Phoenix Arizona GCU believes that our creator has endowed us with certain unalienable rights to life liberty and the pursuit of happiness

They believe in equal opportunities and that the American dream is driven by purpose GCU equips you to serve others and ways that promote human flourishing which will create a ripple effect of transformation for generations to come whether you’re pursuing a bachelor’s Master’s or doctoral degree Grand Cy universities online on campus and hybrid

Learning environments are designed to help you achieve your degree GCU has over 330 academic programs as of September 2023 GCU will meet you where you are and provide a path to help you fulfill your unique academic personal and professional goals find your purpose today at Grand Canyon University private Christian affordable visit gcu.edu

That’s gcu.edu this week Stuart was at the Berlin Film Festival showing her new movie which is you’re never going to believe this a gay movie about two lesbians and she was asked about the Rolling Stone cover and reaction to it and she responded by complaining that the cover was censored

I’m not even sure in what way it was censored maybe she wanted her haircut to be even uglier than it was I can’t say but here’s her Theory as to why this unspecified censorship occurred I love how the story I love how this the writer

Of the story who was great and shaped it really well and I had a really nice with her um called the story uncensored and then the whole cover was censored because the existence of a female body thrusting any type of sexuality at you that’s not designed for desired by

Exclusively um sis straight males is like something that people are like um not like super comfy with and and so I’m really happy with it I had a good time so she was she says thrusting sexuality at us that was not designed for CIS quote unquote straight males that’s true

Now what she fails to mention is that it wasn’t designed for any known member of the human species she is correct though that as a straight male myself I don’t want her thrusting her sexuality at me in fact I’d rather she not thrust anything at all at me just to be clear

Not her sexuality not her haircut I prefer she keep the thrusting to an absolute minimum to be totally honest with you but thrust is an interesting choice of words because it is in this context weirdly aggressive and ugly which is which is um a good way to describe the whole Christen Stewart

Experience at this point the photos are ugly the words are ugly even the way she talks about her desire to be a mother when she talks about that she does it in this bizarre and ugly way so she told Rolling Stone that she wants to start having babies with her lesbian lover

Soon which is of course physically impossible but we’ll ignore that for now here’s how she describes this desire I don’t know what my family’s going to look like but there’s no effing way that I don’t start acquiring kids now we’re not going to focus on the double

Negatives in the sentence I don’t know there’s no way that I don’t uh I suppose if I wanted to psychoanalyze her I’d find some significance in the fact that even the grammatical construction of her sentences is relentlessly negative but putting that aside she says that um she

Wants to acquire kids acquire them like they’re collectibles like like she’s watching infomercials on QVC and calling an 800 number to purchase them which of course is actually not far from how women like Kristen Stewart become mothers so the problem here isn’t that her terminology is inaccurate it’s

Actually the problem is that it’s accurate so what do we learn from this aside aside from getting more confirmation that no woman can pull off a mullet no matter how hard they try can’t be done well if we learn anything at all it’s something we should have

Already picked up on and something that i’ I’ve been saying for years now in reaction to the Rolling Stone article Chris rufo put it this way queer is an ideology not a sexuality and it appears to make people miserable they put dismal pictures of Ellen Page or Kristen

Stewart under headlines with words like Joy family happiness propaganda that intends to demoralize that’s exactly correct queerness is ideological now it is sexual too in a certain literal physical sense but it would be more accurate to call it anti-sexual it’s not asexual it’s anti-sexual Stuart May intend to thrust

Her sexuality in our faces but instead she’s thrusted her anti-sexual she she she is a woman with a sexuality specifically constructed as she admits to be unattractive to the sorts of people who are attracted to women and that’s what I mean by anti-sexual it’s a magnet meant to repel not attract and

That’s because queerness as ruo notes is an ideology and it’s an ideology of demoralization and destruction they have to keep reminding us that they’re happy trans Joy queer Joy because their whole approach to life their whole their worldview their physical appearance everything screams despair even in that press conference clip Stuart looks tired

And miserable and disheveled that’s because her sexuality is defined not by who she loves but by who she hates and the person that she hates most of all as we can clearly see as is always the case with these people is herself and that’s why Kristen Stewart is today cancelled hey YouTube thanks

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